This blog is closed
A message from Zeke to his admirers
Under the fur that covers me,
Walking a piss from pole to pole,
I sniff whatever good may be
From any random-passed asshole.
When I brush Chris’ cactus plants
I sometimes wince or cry aloud,
But for an online thug? Fat chance.
My leg is lifted, and bow-wowed.
Here in this place of dried pigs’ ears
I have attended and obeyed,
And those who menace with vague fears,
If you ask me, can go get spayed.
It matters not how vile their hate,
How lame-anonymous their troll,
I am the master of my plate:
I am the captain of my bowl.
Posted by: Chris Clarke
Note: A database glitch in 2008 ate a bunch of archived comments. Don't be offended if yours isn't here, or confused if the conversation seems disjointed. Thanks!
I like this Zeke feller.
By: By Roxanne on 2006 10 24
***hugs***
I’ve missed you so!
And as far as Zeke is concerned: GOOD DOG! GOOD DOG!!
I hope you’re able to stick around a good long while, Chris.
(Were your ears burning Sunday evening? Zuzu and Lesley and I were all talking about you…)
By: By Elayne Riggs on 2006 10 24
Welcome back, both of you.
By: By Paul Tomblin on 2006 10 24
Oh, sure, Zeke can parody William Henley’s “Invictus.” That’s an easy one. But we’re still waiting for him to do that T. S. Eliot followup he promised.
Welcome back! The Internets just got better again.
By: By Michael Bérubé on 2006 10 24
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Many, many ear scratches for Zeke. (And you, too, Chris, if you’re good.)
By: By Crazy Little Thing on 2006 10 24
I’m thrilled to see you back, and I’m even more thrilled Zeke wasn’t willing to bow out (or bow-wow) quietly. And he of the suspiciously accented name is correct: the intertubes is a better place with you in it.
By: By jason on 2006 10 24
Are you really, truly back? I’m so glad! I had only just begun to lurk here, and was in the process of reading through all of the archives (and forcing my sister to do the same) when I came across that terrible, horrible message.
So very glad you’ve returned to the internets!
By: By Sophie on 2006 10 24
(rubs Zeke’s ears)
There’s a good dog.
By: By Greg London on 2006 10 24
You go, Zeke.
(o)
By: By Jill Smith on 2006 10 24
(Scratches Zeke’s ears) Who’s a good boy?! Who’s a good boy?! Yes, that’s right, YOU’RE a good boy!
You, too, Chris. :)
Hip hip hooray!
By: By Dr. Virago on 2006 10 24
Good poetry, Zeke!
Glad you’re back.
By: By Charles on 2006 10 24
Oh, I’m so glad to see that you and Zeke are back. It makes my brain hurt to think that someone would threaten Zeke - I’m glad to see that neither you nor he is going to take it.
Your writing is always good, and sometimes so profoundly moving that it makes my heart ache.
By: By Jennifer on 2006 10 24
Glad you guys are back “up”(!) There’s no keeping a good dog down.
By: By Carl Buell (OGeorge) on 2006 10 24
Good to see you back!
By: By Ian on 2006 10 24
Zeke, my pup has voluntarily given up the balance of the open box of Milk-Bones to you; please advise your preferred delivery method.
Glad you’re both back.
By: By Linkmeister on 2006 10 24
Glad you’re back - I was not resigned to your absence. Zeke lifting his leg is the perfect response to whatever nimrod thought threatening a dog (or a person!) passed for discourse.
By: By leslie on 2006 10 24
Bestest dog, ever. Welcome back! (and Chris too, of course).
By: By Nanette on 2006 10 24
I am glad to hear that you are back and that Zeke is still reveling in his poochiness.
By: By Jennifer on 2006 10 24
Yay Zeke!
By: By Stephanie on 2006 10 24
Welcome back, guys…
By: By ronbailey on 2006 10 24
Welcome back! I love you both. And it is amazing how much Zeke takes after his Dad with that there poetry-parodying talent. Must run in the family.
By: By Violet Socks on 2006 10 24
Nice to see the Creek still running. Scritch Zeke’s saggital skull ridge for me.
By: By tigtog on 2006 10 24
Brilliant. I’m just thrilled to see Zeke supporting mandatory spay-and-neuter programs for those who need them most.
By: By ilyka on 2006 10 24
I’m here from Michael Berube’s blog to welcome you back and wish you well, Zeke. (I wish my parents’ dog wrote as well as you do. He’s more into public speaking.)
By: By Rachel on 2006 10 24
Yay, CRN is back online!
By: By Sheelzebub on 2006 10 24
My favorite poem, from the time I was a used and abused nine year old to this very day. I still go out in the woods behind the house and scream it out loud.
Thank you for coming back, Chris. I hope Zeke is well.
By: By thebewilderness on 2006 10 24
You tell ‘em, Zeke!
It’s *so* good to see CNR is back. Thanks Chris!
By: By CaseyL on 2006 10 24
By: By David DeLaney on 2006 10 24
...Okay, apparently the system accepted the emote for ‘pets Zeke quietly’, and is acting on it rather than putting it in the comment, leaving nothing to be seen? What an intelligent blog!
—Dave
By: By David DeLaney on 2006 10 24
Go, Zeke! You know I can take a lot of anonymous crap directed at humans, but when they start picking on a dog, they’ve gone too far.
By: By patry on 2006 10 24
zeke! glad you and chris are back.
By: By kathy a on 2006 10 24
Good stuff.
By: By Central Content Publisher on 2006 10 24
I could so understand the desire to disappear. Very glad you regrouped and sallied forth again. Brilliant Dog Poem.
Good Zeke.
By: By zhoen on 2006 10 24
Oh what sweet words to see, so very glad you’re back.
By: By mainsailset on 2006 10 24
GREAT poem! I’m so very glad you’re back.
By: By Paguroidea on 2006 10 24
Glad the both of you are back, Chris & Zeke. It was a little hard to practice love directed at the unfortunate person who threatened Zeke. I had to wonder if that person knew how many people would be out looking for him/her if anything befell Zeke.
By: By kabbage on 2006 10 24
Oh, sure, Zeke can parody William Henley’s “Invictus.”? That’s an easy one. But we’re still waiting for him to do that T. S. Eliot followup he promised.
In America, professor?
An angled-tire urinalist
Sets a grand piss in a sewer
Caver’s rivers of pain, my pissed.
By: By Zeke on 2006 10 24
I came back from a vacation and you were gone. Even though I could understand why, I was miserable.
Welcome back, you two.
By: By rrp on 2006 10 24
Glad of your return, and with a fine rejoinder at that. As the other resident adult biped said when shown the “closed” sign the other night, “What is wrong with people?”
Hi from all the bipeds here to Zeke, and Becky, and Thistle.
Mack and Drizzle and Jasmine also send their regards.
By: By ALotOfCatsAroundHere on 2006 10 24
Congratulations on your return to blogging. I hope things go better this time.
By: By Alex on 2006 10 24
From my elderly dog to yours - welcome back.
She sends some pillows and Mother Hubbard Chicken and Cheese biscuits.
By: By winna on 2006 10 24
Yay! My week just got better. Welcome back Zeke and Chris. You were missed.
By: By kevin Andre Elliott on 2006 10 24
Who’s a good doggie? Have a nice tummy-rub!
(Chris, did you help Zeke with that poem, or just take him to meter-obedience classes when he was younger?)
By: By Dr. Free-Ride on 2006 10 24
Calloo callay!
By: By Joanna on 2006 10 25
YOU’RE BACK! YOU’RE BACK!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
By: By Space Kitty on 2006 10 25
Huzzah. And good cheer.
Welcome back.
By: By SlyCivilian on 2006 10 25
This is good.
i’m so glad you’re back.
By: By the_bone on 2006 10 25
Good dog! Thanks for the swift return.
By: By jim Ricker on 2006 10 25
:)!! Good to see you back, Chris. And as to Zeke, if were possible to give a dog hug out over the internet, consider it done. I’m of the opinion that any person making any sort of threat against a family member deserves nothing less than jail time, but as we’re all basically anoymous here on the internet, fuckstains can say what they want. I’m glad you’re back and I wish you an your family, especially Zeke, glad tidings.
By: By JackGoff on 2006 10 25
Jeebus, if only I could type.
By: By JackGoff on 2006 10 25
Happy dance, happy dance!
Welcome back Zeke and Chris.
By: By sunrunner on 2006 10 25
Good to see you’re back!
By: By Pamela on 2006 10 25
Would that we all had the wisdom of Zeke. Good to have you back.
By: By Rob G on 2006 10 25
Hear that? It’s the signal-to-noise ratio of the Internet going up perceptibly.
Just one more lurker, glad to see you back.
By: By Robert M. on 2006 10 25
Chris, it’s great to see that you’re back. I was shocked and disappointed when I saw your note, and thought about how terrible I would feel if someone threatened my pets in any way. But mostly I felt sad because you’re one of the best writers that I’ve had the privilege of “meeting,” either on the internets or in real life.
By: By Maureen on 2006 10 25
Woof! Woof woof woof, woof WOOF. WOOF WOOF!!
Or, as we humans say, welcome back! Glad to see you back, even glad-er-er to see that the idiots didn’t win.
By: By JeffL on 2006 10 25
Listen up.
Chris Clarke, if you continue to write your incisive leftist commentary mercifully leavened by humor, whether on this here blog or in those purportedly more effective and credentialed paper thingys, I forget what they’re called, this is what I will do.
I will come over to your house and scratch Zeke’s tummy. I will scratch it and scratch it and scratch it until his hind leg begins beating the air with rapture. I will run my fingers through his fur and give him doggy shiatsu the likes of which no dog has ever experienced. I will skritch behind his ears and scrootch beneath his chin. I will take him on long walks in areas where he can safely be let off the leash and throw 639 sticks and 723 slimy tennis balls for him to fetch. I will buy him grass-fed Brazilian beef and feed it to him in carefully measured portions without bones so that he doesn’t get fat or choke. Squirrels and rabbits will be released at regular intervals to scamper coyly across his path. Toilet bowls with chill and limpid defluoridated water will surround him, lids ever up. The reverberant thrum of the Good Dog chant will echo in his ears.
How would you feel then?
By: By Amanda French on 2006 10 25
Zeke for president!!
By: By Jane on 2006 10 25
It’s not incivility and intra-left spats that will undermine The Cause. It’s bunnies and defluoridated water. Typical French perfidy.
By: By Rob G on 2006 10 25
Did he use the Microsoft “Invictus” Wizard?
Glad to see you both back and well.
By: By Kevin T. Keith on 2006 10 25
I didn’t realize you had gone until I read this today! I am so glad you’re still around.
Ear scritches to Mr. Zeke, captain of his bowl.
By: By anne on 2006 10 25
Pixie the Wonderdog and Evil Wiley are glad to see that Zeke’s back online.
And Wiley is VERY envious of Zeke’s poetic ability.
By: By Jodie on 2006 10 25
GOOD, GOOOOOOOD DOG!! This lurker sends you lots of ear scratches and hearty big dog thumps. I hope this is all behind us now, we need CRN!
By: By Fiorentina on 2006 10 25
Go Zeke! Great poem! Welcome back to both of you!
By: By Cat Faber on 2006 10 27
