August 22, 2005

And some things are better than reading Gould

So the neighbor’s fucking asshole good-for-nothing dog streaks out of nowhere last night as Zeke and I are leaving for an evening walk, and attacks poor old Zeke, clamping down on him but good around the earal region. Zeke — who in 15 years of life has never until now met a dog who he couldn’t win over with his boyish charm — falls right over. Brando (the fucking asshole good-for-nothing dog) lacerates his left ear.

So we go to the vet this morning, me half expecting that they’ll screen, clean, and betadine Zeke and hand him back to me with a bill. But the vet is concerned about a couple pounds of weight loss in the last two weeks. He wants to do some blood work and a couple more X-rays. I leave Zeke at the vet, though not before he shoots a look of utter betrayal at me as they hustle him through the back door of the exam room.

The blood work is due back tomorrow. The new radiography shows no sign of tumors, no enlarged heart, nothing really out of the ordinary.

But when the visiting consulting radiologist there today took a look at Zeke’s pelvic X-ray, he pointed out some slight deterioration in a couple of Zeke’s vertebrae that had been mostly masked by the left pelvic “process” — which is a cool, complexity-studies-flavored word for “bone.” The vets hadn’t seen the deterioration before, because it was really pretty hard to see even when pointed out.

Arthritis. Not degenerative myelopathy. Arthritis. Routine, annoying, painful, increasingly treatable arthritis.

Insert Howard-Dean-style scream here.

Zeke, who right now has a couple little sores on his ear held shut by superglue, still has a shot at becoming the world’s best 20-year-old dog. And the owners of the fucking asshole good-for-nothing dog are getting a significant bill handed to them.

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YEAAAAAAAAH, ZEKE!!!!

*dancing*

awwwwwwwwwwriiiiiiiiight!

Not degenerative myelopathy?!  WOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go, Zeke, go! 

I’ve never been so happy about a dog I haven’t met yet.  Scritch him on his good ear for me, and muzzle that damn neighbor dog!

Yay, Zeke!

Really, I’m feeling all this relief right now. Good on ya, Zeke! Phew.

And that fucking asshole good-for-nothing dog’s owners deserve a good tongue lashing in addition to the bill. Really reckless, that.

Is the racist asshole neighbor from a few months ago, by any chance?

Heh. That would be tidy. But no, racist asshole neighbor has a perfectly friendly dog, who’s played with Zeke a couple times. These neighbors are actually very nice. And the dog, apparently, is fine with other dogs and good with kids. But this is the second time he’s jumped Zeke.

Yay!  (Bummer about the ear — but, Yay!)

Wonderful news about Zeke (well, poor doggy’s ear aside)!  Maybe you shouldn’t be too hard on the owners of the fucking asshole good-for-nothing dog because you ended up going to the vet earlier and finding out some good news!  :)

what allison said, ‘cause she beat me to it.

Happy, here.

Lei, that has crossed my mind. I even said so in a draft of this post.

The FAGFN dog’s owners are shocked, shocked I tell you, that their dog would behave in such a fashion. I think they’ll make amends.

Or not, and we haul their butts into small claims court and get a vicious dog declaration besides. But I’d like to avoid that, especially as we’ve been on good terms until now.

Wow — that is fantastic news.  I’m with Lei — although that other dog does seem to be a menace.

Lei said what I was going to say. There is a bright side to almost anything. So estactic for Zeke, though it took an injury to get to the good news!

I will send in reinforcements. Bailey the Killer Dog is on her way to eat that fucking asshole good for nothing dog. All she will need are the coordinates; she has GPS.

Oh, and great news about the arthritis. The ole boy has some quality time left in him.

Good news, Chris!

BTW: As Alpha Male of Zeke’s pack, you do have the duty to gang up with him on this other dog, y’know.

I think I’m getting too far along (7 1/2 mo. and counting!) in my pregnancy to continue reading your Zeke stories, Chris.  I cried with relief hearing that it’s arthritis.  I’ve never been such a sucker for a dog I’ve never met.

Mazeltov!  :) :) :)

Annie said: I think I’m getting too far along (7 1/2 mo. and counting!) in my pregnancy to continue reading your Zeke stories, Chris. I cried with relief hearing that it’s arthritis. I’ve never been such a sucker for a dog I’ve never met.

Well, it may be pregnancy hormones in your case, Annie, but I cried about Zeke last night too, and not for the first time. And I’m pretty sure I haven’t anything unusual going on, hormone-wise. Though I am a sucker for critter stories (I wasn’t allowed to watch animal movies as a kid after the “Bambi’s! Mom! Is! Dead! incident, and the elephants-falling-apart incident at the circus.) I think it’s just that Chris is such a damn good writer that we feel like we know him and his family.

Great going, Zeke. I am happy for you. Love, Grandma

Yay, Zeke, Champion of the Paw to Paw face-off!

That is wonderful news.  What do they treat arthritis with, these days?

Well, Casey, I don’t know about “champion,” but at least Brando didn’t succeed in getting Zeke’s face off.

There are a lot of things vets do for canine arthritis these days. We’ve had him on two non-steroidal antiinflammatoriies so far, and once it gets worse — which it undoubtedly will over time — we can graduate to steroids. This will, of course, keep Zeke out of the Olympics. There are concerns about long-term health implcations with steroids, but since he’s pushing 15, “long-term” might be wishful thinking for Zeke.

There’s also alt-med stuff that’s been recommended, the least unlikely of which is glucosamine/chondroitin. I’m willing to try those if I can find a flavor Zeke will eat.

Indeed, there is nothing worse than a fucking asshole good-for-nothing dog — and I should know because my parents own one.

They consistently come up with bullshit reasons as to why the dog is not a complete freak good only for fertilizing the daisies (if that) after someone puts a steel bolt through its useless goddamned skull.

It doesn’t BITE, though it is highly aggressive towards other dogs.  And it’s just a general pain in the ass to most people (unless you’re my parents).

Poorly trained dogs S-U-C-K.

Where’d my comment go?

SHIT.

Oh.  There it is.  Silly me.  Sorry.

irony in sheep’s clothing . . .

congrats on the ex-misdiagnosis, though i’m not one to wish arthritis on anyone or anything

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