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Frequently Asked Questions
Twisty inadvertently reminded me this week that I’ve been meaning to put together a short FAQ for this here blog. Unlike some FAQs which should really be referred to as “Questions We Think You Ought To Ask If You Were At All Interested In This Site,” some of these Qs have actually been Ad on an F basis.
So here goes:
Why is this blog called “Creek Running North”?
You can find that answered here.
Who is Chris Clarke?
Chris Clarke is a writer and California resident in his mid-40s.
Who is Stephanie?
Stephanie, a.k.a. equinox, is a Midwestern writer and occasional co-blogger at Creek Running North. Chris invited her to sit in and keep his readers occupied while he went to the Mojave for a few days in July 2005, and she did such a good job that he didn’t revoke her posting privileges when he came back. As of September 2005, Chris wishes Stephanie would post more often and encourages his readers to exhort her to do so.
Does Stephanie have her own blog?
What a great idea!
Does Creek Running North have a comments policy?
Yes. Here are the Creek Running North commenting rules:
- Be nice.
- Chris repeatedly ignores Rule 1.
- Commenters are encouraged to upbraid Chris when he ignores Rule 1.
- Commenters are encouraged to upbraid Chris for any other reason.
- The Stephanie-upbraiding comment policy is pending.
- All political viewpoints are welcome here as long as they comply with Rule 1.
- Creek Running North management are the sole arbiters of whether a post complies with Rule 1 (though opinions are welcomed).
- Expressions of your religious beliefs are welcome. Repeated religious proselytizing is not welcome.
- Trolls suck.
Does Chris delete comments because they disagree with him?
Chris likes comments that disagree with him. But he has deleted comments before, and almost certainly will again. Your comment (or trackback) may be deleted if:
- It is clearly spam.
- It contains flagrant intellectual property violations.
- It contains hate speech (subject to Chris’ discretion).
- It misidentifies you as another commenter in an attempt to defame that other poster.
- It contains religious proselytizing even after you have been warned to peddle your god-bothering hooey to someone who cares.
- You have sued — or threatened to sue — others based on blog comment threads on this or other blogs.
Who are these Becky and Zeke people so often referred to here?
Becky is Chris’ spouse. She teaches elementary school in the Oakland Unified public school system, and is sensible enough not to read this blog at all regularly. Zeke is their dog. They also have a rabbit named Thistle, a guinea pig named Harley, and several dozen deceased pets between them, who are occasionally memorialized in this blog when Chris gets in one of those plangent moods.
Chris refers to a friend named Matthew fairly often, but Matthew never comments on this blog. Is Matthew actually an imaginary friend?
Matthew is not imaginary. Irrational and transcendental, yes. But not imaginary.
Is this a political blog?
All blogs are political.
What is this blog about?
Nature, politics, gardening, biology, North American deserts, biography, personal reminiscence, outraged and unfair trashing of innocent people, apologies for same, literary criticism, annual sniping at Burning Man and Annie Dillard, poetry, in-group in-jokes, dog stories, and relating of anecdotes Chris’ family likely wishes he would keep to himself.
Chris shows a barely perceptible glimmer of talent on rare occasions. Has he ever been published?
Here and there, yes.
Why, then, does he give this stuff away for free?
Because it’s still cheaper than freelancing.
Does Chris have a resume?
This blog would be much better if you would (avoid/stick to) the subject of (politics/nature/essays/biography/going on and on about yourself)
That’s not a question.
Why can’t I find Chris Clarke’s email address anywhere here?
Because if you could find it, then the spammers could as well. But if you need to email Chris, just follow the easy formula First Initial Last Name at domain of this website. Update: this is no longer applicable.
What is Faultline.org, and why is this blog buried in such a weird directory structure?
Faultline was a project of Chris’ (and many other people as well) intended to provide a source for Californian environmental news. This blog was originally just a sort of “column” within Faultline. Despite many months of labor, Faultline never gained traction in either readership or fundraising, and so we pulled the plug on it. Think of Creek Running North as the Alien larva burrowing inside the corpse of its hapless host, now bursting from Faultline’s torso to chase Sigourney Weaver around the ship in her underwear.
Faultline also hosts Ron Sullivan’s blog Toad in the Hole, which plays the role of the ship’s cat Jonesie in that last metaphor.
Can I buy the faultline.org domain from you?
No.
Would you help me get my father’s bank account out of Nigeria where it has languished since
No.
Aren’t Chris’ political and ecological views rather extreme?
Let’s put it this way. Chris took one of those stupid Libertarian Party two-axis political quizzes recently, and he was so far to the left libertarian corner that from his viewpoint, Gandhi was a faint, distant blur just in front of Hitler.
Why does Chris make such a big deal about religious proselytizing?
That is best summed up by a short passage that Chris wrote sometime in the previous millenium:
My considered opinion is that one’s relationship to the infinite is a very personal thing. It is, by definition, beyond the bounds of the rational mind. It is therefore beyond the bounds of language.
The corollary to all this is that any attempt to translate one’s own version of the ecstatic experience into speech is an attempt to confine the infinite within the finite, and is doomed to failure. At best, it’s an attempt to dam the ocean with a tule mat. At worst, it’s a form of clearcutting, of taking the most important type of experience one can have and fitting it into the Universal Chomskyan (not to mention Procrustean) Grammar, by throwing away that which can’t so fit.
Therefore, when people attempt to explain the universe to me, I ask them to consider preserving the sacred character of their own experiences by shutting the hell up.
Why does Chris hate children?
Chris likes kids in general, and certain kids very much. Chris has somewhat less fondness for parents, though there are some exceptions there as well. Mostly, Chris has an abiding fondness for salamanders, grasslands, deserts, marbled murrelets, and other things now being paved to make way for double-barrelled stroller parking. In fact, Chris has been working for some time on a witticism about the four Apocalypse guys from The Revelation not riding horses at all but actually pushing strollers. Planned release date for the witticism is sometime in mid-Q4 2006, subject to revision.
This is a Bay Area blog, right? So why all the desert stuff?
Chris is working on a book on Joshua Trees, which grow in the desert. This requires frequent visits to the desert. There’s lots of good stuff to write about in the desert.
When will the book be published?
Sometime after Chris finishes it.
Why did your commenty thing hold my comment for moderation? It says “the first time you comment,” but I’ve commented here before.
We don’t know for sure. Sometimes it does that when you include a hyperlink. Sometimes it does so inexplicably. It hasn’t been a big enough problem for us to worry about it so far.
Will you add me to your blogroll?
Maybe. Write something Chris likes.
Why isn’t my question here?
How about if you ask it in comments, below?
Posted by: Chris Clarke
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