Creek Running North

Jeepers, what a cutie.
Hmm… if it were me, I might have gone for the
avenging unicorn, although those dashboard ninjas
caught my eye as well.

Ha! I just saw that play set at Gaymart. I was wondering how soft the cute little animals are—is it a struggle to impale them, or does the tusk slide in easy?

I like the inexplicable koala.

The Koala is not inexplicable at all. On the back of the box all is explicked thusly:

THE NARWHAL
NATURE’S UNICORN

For centuries, the Narwhal was the great mystery of the sea. With the body of a whale and the horn of a Unicorn, many people believed that these fascinating creatures were harmless inhabitants of the icy waters of the Arctic Ocean. Recent studies, however, have exposed the secret agenda of these mysterious mammals and the true purpose of their extraordinarily long pointy tusks.

The studies revealed that millions of years ago, penguins, snow seals and koalas ruled the earth. For sustenance, they feasted upon whales, dolphins, and other sea mammals to the point of near extinction. But the Narwhal went into hiding beneath the ice of the North Pole, biding their time, planning their revenge and sharpening their tusks. Finally they reemerged, tusks gleaming with newfound magical power, and fought back against the adorable creatures that threatened their existence. The battle was long, and many Narwhal were lost, but their strong will and sharp tusks were able to stave off the cute ones temporarily.

Now, once a year, in a continuous effort to keep their enemies at bay, the Narwhal leave their homes to embark on a treacherous migration to Antarctica in the hunt for baby penguins and seal pups. Many will not return… Along their journey, they will spend time in Australia, swimming upstream to the inland habitat of the koalas, where they will actually leap out of the water to spear the deadly koalas from their perches high in the eucalyptus trees.

It actually takes a little effort to impale a baby seal. But I knew that from working at Earth Island.

She didn’t get you the bacon band-aids?!

I think the BACON! pennant would be a good gift for Chef.  I really, really want the Unicorn Avenger set for the office.

They also have a Good vs. Evil Unicorn set, one unicorn being black with red mane, tail, and hooves with a skull tattoo on its butt, the other being white with pink hair and hooves and a rainbow tattoo on its butt.

Problem is, they don’t explain which one’s which. Confusing.

Not to mention the devil ducks. Or boxing nuns.

I’ve always been a big fan of Nunzilla…

but I have to say that a complete bacon ensemble is a tempting idea… band aids, tape, a wallet, wrapping paper… Cool!

Love it!  I have the Cold War Unicorns, which make me very, very happy.  Fucking commies.

I can vouch for bacon wrapping paper always being a big hit. Especially for vegetarians.

so many choices!  i’ve long and secretly coveted pink flamingo lawn ornaments, but they are overdone, and truthfully, pretty low on the scale of tacky gloriousness compared to air freshener available in either jesus or corn dog scents.

Very nice. 

I have some of the wind-up sushi.  I bought it for my last cat, ostensibly anyway, but when I wound it up and put it on the kitchen floor, he just looked at it, and then looked at me with what seemed like concern.

Set would be complete if a fully geared-up Inuit rifle hunter (see this month’s National Geo) were included in the impalee group.

Want!

I really resent it that I’m going to have to blow good money on this now.