The tide is on its way out in San Pablo Bay. Walking down here, I saw the kingfisher again, in the same old spot above the creek.
This morning, I put in seedlings of winter vegetables: Brussels sprouts, radicchio, cabbage, chard. The seedlings were thirsty: dry roots in dry soil anchoring swooning leaves.
Our meeting with the City Council went well last night. The lease process has been abandoned, and the project bounced back to the church and the neighbors for discussion. Talk is going around the neighborhood of a playground, day care center, other such amenities.
The oak tree is safe for the time being.
Out on the bay, the thin sliver of a sail just barely shows through the fog.
The frightening notion of harder battles for smaller spoils continues to haunt me. Over on Beth’s blog, Cassandra Pages, a thoughtful commenter offers an observation on the loss of local authenticity. This world is not home, he maintains, whether shopping mall or wildlife preserve.
The corollary, to my mind: cease to care. The Buddhist teaching that all existence is Maya — illusion — is conceivably of some comfort to some people. Yes, one should of course go through the motions of working for good things: Right Livelihood is a hallowed Buddhist tradition as well. But care not. All this ye shall inherit — the oily seas, the increasingly tempestuous winds, the gentle and fierce animals beset with changes unmatched in ten thousand years — all this is illusion, a barrier our minds put in the way of enlightenment. We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.
A fine theory. A sublime, elegant, ancient theory. Unfortunately for my chances at landing that bodhisattva job, however, it’s a theory that leaves me utterly cold. Shall I quote Donne to refute it, or Emma Goldman? I want no part of any enlightenment posited on the nonexistence of birdsong, of capsicum, of salt water or libido or tooth enamel. I spent a fair bit of time in my youth trying to accept the notion that the proper path involved turning inward, shutting out the world. This was time wasted, time spent heading in exactly the wrong direction. A cosmic cop-out.
“There is more charm in one cold simple ‘mere’ fact, confirmed by observation and linked to other facts through coherent theory into a rational system, than in a whole brainful of fancy and fantasy; more poetry in a chunk of quartzite than in a make-believe wood nymph; more beauty in the revelations of a verifiable intellectual construction than in misty empires of mythology.”
- Cactus Ed
So I face the world instead, and for someone like me, sentimental enough to tear up watching Animal Planet, this necessarily involves a certain amount of discomfort. Suffering may be an illusion, but it’s a damnably big and compelling one. Are my choices really limited to suffering along with the world or ignoring that world?
Back at home Zeke greets me with intense joy, then bounds out through the open back door to hunt imaginary mice in the compost pile, entirely missing the squirrels that dive for cover. There were a dozen of those squirrels in the black walnut along the creek. It’s mast season, walnuts and acorns and pine cones, and you could hear the festive scrape of tooth enamel on nutshell from a block away. They are seethingly industrious. Still, I could look at them long and long. They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God.
[This entry has been edited for clarity.]
Posted by: Chris Clarke
Categories:
Zeke
Politics
Garden
The Neighborhood
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