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The Tempest: A one-act play in hyperbole
Dramatis Personae:
Snarkos, a leading blogger
The Minions, Snarkos’ ragtag army of defenders
The Rabble, consisting of everyone else.
Snarkos: We need socialized medicine in this country. I think the half-baked Compromise Health Care Bill is a joke. It’s a joke because the corporations will profit and we won’t get health care. The current system is being overrun by hordes of Freckled Albanian babies, who have no right to be here. Freckled Albanian babies are smelly, they have bad table manners, and they tip rarely if at all. Freckled Albanian babies are also, statistics prove, far more likely to commit crimes while still in diapers. I would not let my baby daughter marry a Freckled Albanian baby, and if I found out a Freckled Albanian baby was moving to my neighborhood I would sell my house. Freckled Albanian babies are a blot on society and should be exterminated and then billed for the costs involved. Maybe then we can have socialized medicine in this country.
The Rabble: [Outraged] What in the name of all that is good and holy are you talking about? There is nothing wrong with Freckled Albanian babies, and you are an ogre for saying what you did.
The Minions: Snarkos is no ogre, and why are you against socialized medicine? You have a grudge against Snarkos and you hate him and we will not listen la la la la la.
Snarkos: I don’t disagree with anything The Rabble said. I disagreed with the Compromise Health Care Bill.
That’s what I was saying. 1) Corporations will profit and 2) we won’t get health care. That’s all.
[Fin.]
Posted by: Chris Clarke
Note: A database glitch in 2008 ate a bunch of archived comments. Don't be offended if yours isn't here, or confused if the conversation seems disjointed. Thanks!
in a nutshell! and very very funny :) thank you for your great and intelligent writing—and thinking!
i started reading here a few months ago and became a daily visitor immediately… you make words a thing of beauty… (and as someone who is in the middle of marking lots and lots of papers right now, I really appreciate that!)
By: By Ann on 2007 04 15
An Albanian? You mean, all white with pink eyes?
By: By Homer Simpson on 2007 04 15
My friend just came over and hugged me because I was uncontrollably laughing my ass off.
By: By Sylvia on 2007 04 15
Thank you, I had just been reading some of snarkos’s minions and was in desperate need of some assurance of intelligent life in the universe.
By: By colleen on 2007 04 15
I wish it were not so, but, sadly, that is exactly what happened. When I read the apology, I thought, then why did you spend so much time disparaging the source?
By: By Nikki on 2007 04 15
Hmm, I like the new infowar strategy. It’s almost enough to make me take back what WAAGNFNP is going to post from me about your earlier attempts (and other more trivial matters).
By: By The Constructivist on 2007 04 15
Snarkos’ willingness to throw the Freckled Albanians under the bus is nothing new. Why does it take our so-called allies so long to notice this kinda thing?
By: By Dr. Free-Ride on 2007 04 15
Flawless! And cheering. Thanks, Chris.
By: By Theriomorph on 2007 04 16
Categories:
Satire
