Frequently Asked Questions
Posted by Chris Clarke on September 8, 2007
Q: Why is the sky blue?
I’m pretty sure it has something to do with refractive scattering of sunlight. Why it’s blue as opposed to indigo or yellow or something I don’t remember.
Q: What’s for dinner?
What’s in the refrigerator?
Q: Where, oh where has my little dog gone?
With his ears cut short and his tail cut long I’m surprised the poor bastard didn’t light out for the hills a long time ago, you monster.
Q: What’s the word?
Johannesburg.
Q: Oh god, why have you forsaken me?
Probably because of your chronic martyr complex, I’m thinking.
Q: How are you?
Fine. And you?
Q: Are you ready to rock?
Just a second: lemme put the book down… Okay. Yes. I’m ready.
Q: Where did I put my keys?
You know, you really should try just having a place where you put them every time you come in. You’d avoid a lot of heartache.
Q: Do you wanna dance?
Sorry. I’m here with someone.
Q: Why are we here?
Because we’re not there. Why we can’t be both here and there has something to do with the structure of the space-time continuum, if I remember right.
Q: What do you wanna do?
I dunno. What do you wanna do?
Q: Spare change?
Sorry.
Q: Do you come here often?
Not with these prices.
Q: Do these pants make me look fat?
You really shouldn’t worry. The anorexic body standard fashion oppresses us all, male and female, fat and thin. There’s so much more to life than worrying about thinness. A bit of body mass really comes in handy in a number of situations, like for instance moving furniture. As long as you feel healthy, that’s all that matters. Feel beautiful and you’ll be beautiful.
However, they’re really not working for me with that shirt.
Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?
Yes. Is that pupusa place still open out on Alum Rock?
Q: Can I buy you a drink?
Double espresso please. Thanks.
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